Image by InstagramFOTOGRAFIN from Pixabay
As a teacher, I have a special reverence for summer. And Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Veterans Day. All of them. Because yes, it is great having those days/weeks off (can’t believe people need to ask). But more importantly because time off from work, however much or little, brings that inexplicable joy of knowing my day (or week or month) is my own. That I have not only the inclination, but the time, to be at ease.
It’s simple: I’m an introvert and prefer to spend my time thinking, reflecting, and dreaming. Even planning. I know I need structure but I also know I truly thrive when the structure is my own. As in I create it and direct it. I decide what to prioritize and what to ignore. In order to do that I need time. And there certainly is time on a workday for the things I value, it’s just not as much fun. Because I have to be “good” and do what I get paid for first. Someone else decides my priorities. Yuck.
But a day off is so special. If I plan things right, it’s empty and patient. Starting early is better but if I feel like hitting snooze once or twice it’s okay. The dogs sleep in if I do. The house waits. Nothing needs me until I’m ready. There is no pressure, expectation, or dread. Just time.
Today was one of those empty days. I had things to do, of course, but I didn’t have any deadlines. The dogs and I visited the park, I packaged and shipped some items I sold on eBay, and I replaced a broken toilet seat. Additionally, I called and cancelled a stupid digital subscription that I don’t want anymore. I paid some bills. And the day isn’t even over yet. That’s fantastic! Even a regimented eight hour workday can rarely claim as many tangible accomplishments.
It all comes down to choice. When I get to choose my tasks, they don’t seem as onerous. That’s why days off are so great. But I hate to think that I must wait for a day off to feel such contentment. So, taking a cue from Stoic philosophy, I have decided not to view any tasks as dreadful. And to recognize that truly every action I take is within my realm of influence and therefore a reasonable choice.
Like everyone else’s work, my job requires me to do things I don’t always agree with and would skip over if I could. However I get really good benefits and pay, as well as enjoyment and respect, from my employment more often than not. So I choose to stay there (for now) because the good far outweighs the annoying. Everything I do while on the clock, then, is my choice.
And everything I do off the clock is my choice. There is more than just the fun stuff. I conquer the yard work, cleaning, and laundry as needed because I like a nice looking and organized home. Running the dogs keeps them (and me) in shape and healthy. Paying the bills and maintaining the budget ensures a stable financial situation for now and the future.
I used to complain about the drudgery or tediousness of such endeavors. And certainly about the workplace. But what else is life made of? These efforts are all part of each day and I’m lucky that I’m not disabled and can actually do all these things myself. All the little chores I must finish create the life I want. Therefore the work is welcome.
Viewing work (whether it is paid employment or tasks I choose myself) as a deliberate choice means every day is a time to be at ease. After all, the problems on the job are those things I used to hate to do the most. By recognizing that I’m choosing those tasks because they are part of the bigger picture of making money, I’m free each moment to decide to do or not to do.
When I choose the doing, I no longer allow myself to imagine that I’m wasting time or that I’ve got to hurry up and get through it. Not anymore; now that I’ve realized how finite life really is. Instead, I’m accepting the trials without judgment and simply being thankful I’m alive and capable of handling them.
So I guess being at ease doesn’t just mean lounging or napping or scooping ice cream while I binge-watch reruns of The Big Bang Theory. It is, in fact, a choice. A decision to recognize the best ideas and actions and simply follow through. Even if something isn’t what might be called fun or exciting. Because anything that I choose, mindfully, is worthy. Knowing that I’m doing the choosing is what it really means to be at ease.