Have you ever felt colossally angry? Ever been ripped off? Badly? Of course; everyone has. We’ve all made uninformed or downright dumb decisions about products or services we’ve paid for. Even people we’ve befriended. Everyone has at least one horror story about something costing twice as much (or more) as they were told it would. Paying good money for something that turned out to be a piece of crap. Suffering the sting of deception by a family member or “friend.”
When that happens, the mature and experienced consumers/adults among us know that we don’t have to just sit there and take it. You’ve probably had a few good fights with customer service. Perhaps you’ve gone back to a store and spoken to the manager. It might have ended in a refund or replacement. Maybe even an apology. Or maybe the best you do was learn a lesson(still valuable although not nearly as satisfying.)
What Can You Do?
But did it ever occur to you that an entire company should be shut down because they pissed you off? At any time did you think that your complaint was so important that the entire establishment and all its employees should be wiped off the retail map? Or that someone’s entire family or group of friends should be shunned because your feelings were bruised?
Okay, maybe in the heat of the moment. But actually you just wanted someone to recognize your needs and straighten out the situation. Replace the object; correct the overcharge; grant the refund. Apologize. Businesses usually want to keep customers. They will often work with you if you can get the right person. Friends or coworkers want resolution. They will seek a truce if encouraged.
In today’s social media driven world, however, people do want to wipe businesses and people out (see these articles here and here.) Did a CEO make an insensitive remark? Was there a stupid or offensive commercial? A tweet that rubbed people the wrong way? Did someone at an organization (or at your place of employment) express a political opinion with which others disagreed?
If so, it won’t take long for everyone to hear about it. People will take to their various digital soapboxes to tell the world they must punish the “guilty” party. Boycotts ensue. Calls for resignations, firings, and removal from Twitter. Or Facebook. Or Instagram, et. al.
I bet I’m not the only one who recoils from the constant conflict, name-calling, and histrionics. Whether it’s in the news, on social media, or wherever people dare to speak to one other about, well, anything. Besides gritting our teeth or ruminating endlessly over what we should have said, what can we do?
Live and Let Live.
Obviously watching people get kicked off various digital platforms (or have their followers purged) is not acceptable. Nor is joining with angry crowds to demand boycotts or firings or that heads roll. What we should or can do, however, is not obvious.
I don’t have any ingenious ideas to fix the strife and upheaval that is rampant in our public and political arenas. I do not make a living negotiating or mitigating or legislating. But I will make one suggestion that could make at least a small difference: when you’re angry or mistreated, decide you will deal with that singular retailer, person, or situation. Alone. You don’t need an army; you don’t have to have backup. Just solve your problem yourself.
So you might decide never to shop at Target again, for example; you don’t have to call on all your Facebook friends to boycott them. Similarly, if your kid’s teacher disciplines too harshly, you set up a meeting with him or her. You don’t storm into the principal’s office and threaten a lawsuit.
If there is conflict in your family or among your coworkers or friends, perhaps you empathize and legitimately support one side over the other. You don’t have to announce to anyone who will listen (or retweet) that the other folks are all nearsighted idiots, for instance. You could decide to leave that out.
Go It Alone.
In other words, have your righteous indignation. Take care of your situation. Find someone who cares. Just don’t drag everyone else into it.
It can be very comforting to have others nod their heads at our tales of woe. After all, we all want to know we’re right. Too much support for our viewpoint, however, charges us up too much. Get enough of that kind of energy going and people want to take on the world. They wanna fight.
The simple truth is we have to go back to a time when we didn’t advertise our every indignation or feeling. That doesn’t mean we have to be repressed or ignored. It just means that we recognize that this is our own injustice and we need to deal with it. As my parents used to say, “like a grown up.”
And, almost always, without a crowd.