Image by jLasWilson from Pixabay
There are times when I love scrolling and reading through my favorite blogs and other websites (target.com, anyone?) Depending on how good a news day it is, I can spend way too much time scanning headlines and following link after link. That can be fun, for sure, unless I get sucked into some story or report that is overwhelmingly stupid or just plain wrong. Then maybe I try to fact check or research something from that story that ends up at a dead end or another irritating place. After enough twists and turns, it’s like people are all talking at once about ideas that are completely annoying to me. Sometimes it’s all too much.
On such days I’m reminded how different people can be. When I read through a political opinion that is opposed to mine or a blog post that touts something I despise, I often wonder how people get along at all. Don’t misunderstand: I don’t assume people are stupid if they don’t espouse the same beliefs as me. I work hard at staying open and at least listening to viewpoints that are different. But there are just certain ideas that I run into that really weird me out. And certain authors will write with a caliber of vitriol and disdain that nauseates me. When every link leads to deeper and deeper rabbit holes then I know it’s time to click out.
That’s usually when I write. Because writing is when I get to think, research, and discuss what matters to me. It’s also really the only time I can completely ignore ideas or people who are irritating, puzzling, or just downright wrong. When we’re at work or standing in line in a checkout lane, there are people around us. We have to be polite; or at least life is usually easier when we are. You don’t want to just blurt out at the staff meeting that your colleague’s idea is moronic. Nor should you opine to the guy in front of you in line that his feet are way too nasty for flip flops. We bite our tongues and look away because it keeps the social wheels greased and rolling. It’s a small price to pay to maintain one’s safety and reputation.
The noise of social discord is all around us. I didn’t know how stressful reading news sites or scrolling Twitter could be until I found myself exhausted one evening. I realized I had been arguing with people for hours even though I had been alone all day. It’s bad enough that I sometimes practice soliliquizing inwardly to someone who pissed me off at work. It’s quite worse to do so to someone I’ve never even met. Over something idiotic or rude that person never even said to me.
Many people have researched and written about the effect of social media (or any media for that matter) on civility. We know it can lead to depression in some and possibly to violence in others. It doesn’t even have to be “social” to rile me up. Sometimes just the headlines on a news site can stir the pot.
I find that when I read too much annoying or weird content I recoil more readily from people. As an introvert, I tend to do that a little anyway. But the wrong kind of media material can raise my leave-me-alone-o-meter to a ten out of ten. It probably does that to lots of people. So it becomes my responsibility to step away from the internet when this happens. Turn away and leave it behind. Because most of what people write or post is not really who they are anyway.
Some folks argue that social media or even just the comments sections on blogs or websites provide angry people with a layer of anonymity that encourages them to let loose. If not total anonymity, such platforms at least keep others out of your face when you post your declarations. Written, unopposed statements are bolder and more outlandish than those one might actually say to another person. The protection from the physical presence of others inflates emotions. People say snarky or obnoxious things because no one is there to tell them to back off (or to punch them in the face). Not because they are all simply jerks.
That doesn’t mean some people aren’t simply jerks. They’re definitely out there. But I always feel better when I give others the benefit of the doubt. Because I certainly hope they will do that for me. We can all have bad days where we might say or do or post something stupid or offensive. Not because we’re jerks but because we’re overwhelmed, exhausted, or just plain pissed off.
Is there a cure for all the social noise that’s assaulting us? I believe so. It’s perhaps just simply to avoid getting to that stressed out, pissed off place to begin with. Turn away. Sooner rather than later. Listen to some music; walk the dog. Scrub the sink.
Like you, those angry folks trolling the internet aren’t necessarily obnoxious, hostile sons of bitches. They probably just need a good nap.