Image by Patrycja Kwiatkowska from Pixabay
A certain quit smoking product’s commercial I saw recently used a phrase (something like): start again today. Which is an interesting way of telling people that it’s okay that they’ve failed in the past. They probably will again. But it doesn’t mean you have to quit quitting. Just start again today.
I have to admit I like that. In fact, I am stealing that motto for my own life. This post comes after a several month hiatus in which I wrote the first draft of a mystery novel. Once I decided to write a mystery, getting the first draft done became priority one. So I quit posting for awhile. Then, I kind of got in the habit of not posting. Soon after that, I felt disappointed that I was in the habit of not posting.
Time is on my side: it’s summer vacation from teaching high school, so the time to get back on the horse is now. I’ve only got two weeks of break left; I will do more what I love and care about. So here we go: starting again.
That’s a great motto, not just because it’s so forgiving, but because it’s so applicable to nearly everything I do. During the first two thirds of this year’s summer break, I did a lot of reading. I found some new inspirational authors and started new practices. Whenever I begin something new, I often find my enthusiasm waning after a few weeks (or days!) My new online mentors won’t let me just say to hell with it, however. Like the quit smoking product, they have this ferocious optimism that doesn’t worry about what detours I’ve taken or what delays I’ve orchestrated for a quick dopamine fix. Just start again, no matter how long I’ve been away or how far back I’ve slipped.
Start again takes into account that creating a new habit/practice takes time. Because it’s so easy to keep doing what I’ve always done. I don’t have to think very much when I allow myself to live the way I’ve always lived. Simply enjoying snacking right up to bedtime is easier than committing to better eating habits. Hitting snooze instead of setting the timer for ten minutes of meditation in the morning is effortless. Scrolling properties (that I’m not ready to buy yet) on zillow.com doesn’t require mindful practice like achieving a word count does.
That means that if I’m going to develop new practices or habits, I need to expect that I’m going to have occasional setbacks. Not because I’m not committed, but simply because of the path of least resistance. One of my new online faves is benjaminhardy.com. He says that we often don’t reach our highest goals because a path to a lesser goal became obvious. In other words, we do what’s easiest; we take the path of least resistance. That’s what happens if we’re not really thinking about what actions we’re taking and to what goals we’re striving.
And all that means: if I don’t plan my day so that I take certain paths because they will yield the highest rewards, then I’ll turn down the familiar ones that will continue to yield average (and worse) results. Creating content for my blog and making progress on whatever book I’m writing are goals that deliver higher rewards to me than just knowing I have four or five hours of free time I can spend anyway I want. I’ve often longed for those weekends or holidays when I have no plans and then deliberately kept them that way, fearing that planning some important but enjoyable work might deduct from my feeling of freedom. I’m proud to say that I’ve learned my lesson: having no plans does not equal freedom, but it often equals disappointment.
Which is not to say I schedule every second of the day. What it does mean, however, is that every day needs some plans that are future directed. That way, when the future arrives, I’m ready for it. And I can enjoy it more. Not only because I feel better about the progress I’m making, but because that future that arrives? I will have created a big part of it myself. I used to think that planning and prepping for the next day or the next holiday or the next season meant I was giving up today. And that can certainly happen. But more often than not, I’m finding that I can enjoy the effort as it’s happening and then the fruits of that effort when they manifest in the future. It’s a win-win.
These new attitudes mean that I can write my books, start my side hustle, love my friends and family, play with my dogs, and also write blog posts. Ironically, there’s more time in my days when I’m working on endeavors I choose. Because when I plan the actions I want to take, I get right to work on them. If I just say, Gosh, I’ve got the whole day Or There’s no way I can get all this done! then time disappears. It’s not an accident that focusing on what’s most important makes time expand.
That’s from benjaminhardy.com. It’s true because in order for something to be a priority, it must be special and one of only a few things on which you focus. Dr. Hardy says if you have more than three priorities in a day, you have no priorities. So much of what we do in a day has no effect on the goals we claim to desire. Excise those fruitless activities and suddenly your day opens up. It’s not magic, it’s planning. Or maybe more accurately, planning is magic. And that may sound boring.
Except for the fact that it works.