Image by Tim Tersluisen from Pixabay
It happens to all of us. We have plans and goals and when those plans and goals are new we tend to have a lot of energy. Then, well, then it sometimes wanes. In my case, I’ve come to learn, it’s usually from a break in momentum. A long day or extra chores interfere with my new commitments and poof my new goal gets pushed to the back burner. After that back burner simmered for a few days, I usually just turned it off and forgot about it. Guilt ensued; depression visited. Why can’t I ever do what I’ve planned?
This past year or so I’ve found some new writers whose blogs have really inspired me. I’ve also rediscovered motivating words from the writers I read regularly. Turns out I’m not the only one who has faltered in the “achieving your goals” game. And of course I knew that, but it means more when such admissions come from people I trust and when people write down those admissions and their supportive advice. Raptitude.com and bemorewithless.com are my go-to inspiration blogs and guess what? They delivered! It turns out that overcoming the guilt and depression of failed goals, though not easy, is certainly simple: just keep starting over.
Begin. Again.
The starting over part comes from both blogs (and probably many others). Doing so without beating yourself up over it, well, that comes from both as well. Dang! No wonder I love these people. Courtney at bemorewithless admits to wandering from her best intentions but then simply coming back. David’s Raptitude has many articles that cover procrastination but explains that the only way to overcome it is to keep starting things until you finish. It’s okay if you needed a few beginnings to get there or if you decide something is not that important after all: “It may not even occur to a lot of people that almost all longstanding to-do items can be abandoned without your becoming a disgraced deadbeat.”
I’ve written about procrastination before. It’s not something that can be dealt with once, so it seems with me. Instead I have to keep chipping away at it. The reasons I procrastinate are not always the same so defeating it takes more than one approach. Sometimes I need to just grit my teeth and push through. Other times I need to reconsider and perhaps decide to let something go. All tasks are not created equal; some are priorities while others may have been taken on due to guilt. When my subconscious pushes back against certain commitments, it might be for a good reason.
Can Procrastination Be Good?
In fact, procrastination is almost always only the tip of the iceberg for me. It seems to be my subconscious telling me that whatever I’m putting off is stupid and pointless. Projects at work that I disagree with; get togethers with people I don’t really like; chores that I feel like I shouldn’t have to do to begin with. Those are the types of things I procrastinate the most. In such situations, my procrastination actually seems intelligent. It’s trying to help me. It wants me to fight back against dumb or useless commitments and live a better life.
So maybe it’s not just my subconscious rationalizing. Perhaps, and this is a big perhaps, it knows what it’s talking about. The thing is, I don’t really put off things I know I need to do: mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, picking up groceries. Even paying the bills is done in a timely manner. I get up early every morning and run with my dogs; I pack my lunch for the next day as soon as I get home. Isn’t that pretty damn good?
Just Don’t Quit.
My brand of procrastination seems to show up when I begin a new project or take the first steps toward a new goal. Some experts say that all those other chores I take pride in (above) are actually the procrastination itself. Get busy with mundane things so you never have to take the plunge and risk something. Yeah; that’s it. I guess? Again, that’s what the experts say. Somehow, however, I still feel like there may be some truth in that tendency to sometimes back away from new things. I’m cautious by nature (in case you can’t tell); I like to make sure I know what I’m getting into.
For the most part, however, my procrastinating does not negatively affect my life. So I’m not going to worry about it and I’m certainly not going to punish or hate myself for it. Instead, like David says at Raptitute.com, I’m just going to keep starting.
Again and again.