You’ve probably heard the line before. Usually it’s said as a joke, directed at someone who just can’t (or won’t) grow up. Someone who is caught in the past or who is always talking about the “glory days.” We sometimes say those people “peaked in high school.” Maybe it’s said good naturedly or maybe not but certainly it’s worth wondering: can it be true? What if you have already peaked? Is it all downhill afterwards or do you just coast from here on out? What does it mean to “peak” to begin with?
My personal opinion is that yes, one can certainly peak in high school (or college or in your twenties or after making partner or after banking your first million). It doesn’t mean, however, that there’s nothing left. Or that you might not peak higher in the future. Since the “peak” most people refer to usually means a pinnacle of achievement of some kind it certainly follows that as long as you’re consciously (or even unconsciously) living you will continue to achieve. Why can’t achievement itself evolve? Making your first million could certainly be a peak but whose to say a second, third, or many more millions after that aren’t forthcoming?
Can You Only Peak Once?
The problem I have with the joke of “peaking in high school” (or wherever) is that it’s singular. And I know that’s wrong. I remember thinking when I got married, wow! This is it! Then I graduated from college and started a great career. Nope, this is now “it.” Then we had a kid, bought houses, met interesting people, endured losses, overcame obstacles, traveled to exotic places. Just a few years of adulthood taught me that life indeed has its ups and downs. The longer you live, however, the more ways you learn to sidestep the downs or at least mitigate them. There can be more peaks than valleys.
I used to discount my successes (staying out of debt, losing ten pounds, running a half marathon) because they didn’t seem all that big. It seemed other people could achieve such things with ease. And perhaps losing ten pounds isn’t the greatest accomplishment of my life, but it’s still worth recognition. Because if we believe in only one peak, we flatten all the little ones that come our way. We end up thinking that maybe we already experienced it. Or that it’s too far off to worry about for now. Both extremes are bad for the soul because they undermine our ability to experience gratitude.
Expect More
That’s why, instead of believing in one mythical peak, I think we serve ourselves better by expecting many accomplishments. And to make things really interesting, why not expect bigger successes with each day? From such a standpoint the singular peak idea is not only wrong, it’s downright offensive.
Assuming there is one peak in your life and wondering if you’re already past it or if you’ll be ready for it when the time comes is too overwhelming. How can anyone ever know if a certain day was his best? How can anyone ever be sure that, despite all the things going wrong in life, better days and accomplishments aren’t yet to come?
Thanks to the influence of my favorite bloggers and good friends, I’ve learned to be radically kind to myself. Getting disgusted with myself or hitting rock bottom isn’t motivational and doesn’t help me recover from a fall. If I truly believe, however, that I never intend to be less than my best then it’s much easier to get back up and try again after a screw up. It’s much easier to believe I’ll peak again. So in order to create more success and achievement in my life, I pledge to invoke radical optimism for the future alongside my radical kindness.
Optimism Does Not (Necessarily) Equal Denial
That doesn’t mean I live in denial or that I don’t admit failure. It just means I commit to finding a way to achieve my goals (or reevaluate them) despite setbacks. Because that approach has always worked for me. And that’s the truth. It’s true for a lot of people.
Most of us are pretty good at remembering when things turn out poorly; we say things like, “It figures” or “That’s just my luck” or “I never get a break.” But that’s not always accurate. If we’re brutally honest with ourselves, we will see that circumstances do break our way, probably as often as not. Good luck does visit us. Our efforts do pay off.
It’s not bragging or tempting fate to admit such things. Instead it’s actually necessary; acknowledging wins and expressing gratitude for them is a major part of success. It sends a powerful message to one’s subconscious: I did something great, now please remember the recipe . Acknowledging your role in your own success means you have control over it. You don’t have to just sit around and hope. You’ve got tools.
Nope.
So to answer my own question: no. We have not peaked. Partly because each day is new; every success is a different experience. Maybe earning less this year was better because it was from your own startup instead of a paycheck. Perhaps running a 5K was more meaningful today than that half marathon years ago because you trained while undergoing chemotherapy. Or possibly you can enjoy a good book even more this year because you are the one who wrote it.
The real reason you know you haven’t peaked, however, is actually very simple: you’re alive. Maybe we evolve physically in some eras of our lives then intellectually or spiritually in others. Believing in a single peak devalues all the growth that led up to it and all the wisdom that could ensue from it. Don’t do that to yourself.