We’ve all heard the saying that time is money and I’ve always found that statement interesting. Until recently I agreed with those words and have usually acted accordingly. But money is man-made, after all. Time easily transcends it. I’m starting to consider the possibility that time is way more than money. And I’d like to figure what that “more” might mean.
What could “more” mean? Perhaps health, love, family, or friends. Society or culture. Since money exists only with the consensus of those who use it, anything that comes before money is more. What, then, comes before everything? Some would say God. Those who don’t claim theistic beliefs would maybe say something like time. Does that mean, maybe, that God is time? Or vice versa?
I am not fully equipped to even claim to answer such a question. But I can speculate. Let’s think about it: believers claim that God is the beginning and the end. The infinite. All powerful. The maker of everything. What existed before us and what will remain after us. Doesn’t all that describe time as well?
It might not work the same way the book of Genesis’ God does; time itself doesn’t make things, right? Or does it? Because if whether we do or do not believe in God, whom believers tell us we can never fully understand, don’t we all agree that none of us really understand time?
We experience time linearly. It can’t go backwards or outwards. It doesn’t overlap. Essentially time is right now and that’s it. We’re aware that it existed before us and we hope that after we die the human race will continue. But we don’t actually live anywhere but now. Yet time is all around us; what happened yesterday or even a thousand years ago is still part of today. What we do now will affect someone somewhere many days and years from now. Isn’t that God-like?
In fact, although we certainly experience time linearly perhaps it’s more accurate to describe its existence as web-like. It’s all around us, it’s connected to us, we’re part of it. And from my viewpoint, time started in a certain way: the big bang and all that (I told you I’m not qualified to speak to many of these details!) To others, Genesis is the beginning. If you’re native American or indigenous to some other continent, your “starting point” is entirely different. Is any one of them more wrong or right? People of faith believe as sincerely as physicists in their creation stories.
Although I don’t know much about him, I’ve always respected Richard Feynman because of his simple and genuine joy in finding things out. He would not allow me to argue, I don’t think, that the beginning of time is different for everyone (or at least every people). But he would probably be interested in any story that could be investigated. He would enjoy tracking down evidence and examining every minuscule detail. I’m pretty sure he didn’t believe in a god, but he seems like the type who would let you give him your best argument. Maybe this time-god thing is worth thinking about and researching.
Why time? I’ve started reading some of the works of Seneca and the idea of respecting the limited time we have in our lives is new to me. He talks about how people are ridiculously frugal with money or possessions but they too readily allow others to steal the moments from their lives, the only things with which we should be frugal. I absolutely have never thought about that before. Time is never coming back; you can’t store it or buy more. Yet I’ve treated it like I have an endless warehouse full of it. Like I can just go get some more if my supply were to ever run low.
I know I’m not the only one who acts this way, but I’m still stunned by how much time I’ve wasted in life. Several years ago I was studying to take a professional exam that, should I pass, would qualify me for a new job. The exam covered extensive amounts of material and required me to thoroughly review my calculus skills. In other words, I needed a lot of time to do the material justice and found myself carving out study periods by getting up an hour earlier on workdays and changing dinner prep to take-out and frozen entrees only.
The very first hour-earlier day was exciting. I practically sprinted into the kitchen to rustle up some coffee and a high protein breakfast when I spotted several plates and utensils in the sink. So I washed them up and then wiped down the counters. There were a few pieces of mail lying on the counter, so I delivered them to the shredder in my home office. On my desk were a couple of bills I hadn’t gotten to. Dang! I need to take care of those! It took me nearly twenty minutes of puttering before I saw what I was doing. All at once I realized that not only was I dodging today’s plan, but every other morning that I ran late it was for the same reason: because I was caught up in minutiae when I should be working mindfully on what’s actually relevant and important.
From that day forward, I started noticing when detours diverted my efforts. And I found them everywhere. Current psychological research (and common sense) associates these time squandering tendencies with procrastination or anxiety. And I confess: yes, I procrastinate (and then sometimes get anxious about looming deadlines). But I never thought that straightening up my workspace or finishing the laundry I started last night or putting the dishes away was part of it. Obviously it is. In fact, procrastination (for me) is not about being too lazy to do something. It’s about being paralyzed by a decision: what’s the best way to spend my time right now? And do the goals I hope to achieve really outweigh keeping the house (and thus my life) up and running?
Looking busy earns respect, sometimes, from others. People can see we’re doing something and that means we deserve respect and admiration. Especially if what we’re doing is helping someone else. And of course, sometimes I actually intend to clean the house or finish the laundry because I need to. But when I set aside time for a specific task and I let other tasks hop on the bandwagon, I’m actually avoiding difficult decisions about the best way to spend my time. And that is exactly what Seneca warns about:
Therefore… hold every hour in your grasp. Lay hold of to-day’s task, and you will not need to depend so much upon to-morrow’s. While we are postponing, life speeds by. Nothing… is ours, except time…
https://www.brainpickings.org/?s=seneca
That’s big stuff. Those simple words have forced me to audit my life. Of course, it’s not like I can plan not to daydream. So I will vow to do the only thing I can: when I find myself wasting time I will simply turn away from my wandering. And come back to the moment. It’s truly the only plan that can work. To worry about it for another minute or obsess over my plan at all is itself a tangent and a waste of time and energy. Seneca wouldn’t approve of that.
And neither do I.