Lazy dog photo by Shaun Finn at Pixabay.com
Ambition is something I just don’t get. I don’t talk about it much because some people have harsh opinions on the matter but I can’t lie: it’s simply not there. To admit such a thing is to invite others to consider you lazy, incompetent, ungrateful, and even reckless. How can you find happiness without ambition?
We are supposed to want to make a difference; to want to “make something” of ourselves; to strive to be our best at all times. But what if that just doesn’t fit? What if you just don’t want to live by those standards?
There is no “110%”
That’s not to say I don’t want to be my best or make something of myself. It’s just that I wonder if it all has to be according to the standards of society or anyone at all, for that matter. The feeling began to crystallize during a job interview some years ago when the person asked me, literally, “Are you willing to give 110%?” That really turned me off. Immediately.
First because I’m a math major and I hate the misuse of numbers in that way. And second because, for Christ’s sake, why should I? It’s not like this was a high paid position of global significance. It’s not like the person I would be replacing ever gave that much (I knew her). But I just smiled and said of course. I spared the interviewer my lecture on the stupidity of asking for 110% and accepted the job. But I knew that I had to keep my refusal to hand over my whole life (plus 10%, mind you) to myself.
It’s a job not a coronation
My vow did not prevent me from serving well in that job. Turns out I was able to exceed my employer’s expectations with as little as a 50% commitment of life energy. Still, that request was actually rather rude. Who were they to demand I swear some sort of servile allegiance to them?
It’s not like they would do the same for me. Had there been one too many complaints about me or had revenue in my area taken a dive, no matter how small, they would be 110% committed to giving me the boot. I continued to keep the resentment to myself, but the feeling was growing.
Then I saw a book on Amazon that caught my eye. It was the biography of a man who had earned a great deal of money through various ventures and had retired wealthy before fifty five. It was written like a story.
The main character would talk to different people and try to teach them his secrets to success, then he would chronicle why the others so often failed to get the results he had. The book was highly rated with an average of nearly five stars, so I decided to try it (plus it was a Kindle Unlimited book so it came free with my very low monthly subscription).
Give your all, all the time
To save you the trouble of reading it, here was his secret to success in ten words: work your ass off all the time no matter what. That’s basically it. On weekends or days off, develop your side hustles. At your job, you guessed it, give 110%. Vacations are for sissies and cry babies. Buck up and shut up. And don’t worry about your family (if you ever had time to even have one), building your wealth is the best thing for them. You’ll see your kids and spouse later.
Okay, yeah, I’m exaggerating. But not that much. Considering the reams of positive, loving reviews for the book on its Amazon page I figured damn, I am seriously different from the world. To me the book’s advice stunk. Sure, I want to take care of my family and give them a secure place in this life but I don’t want to never come up for air in the process. In fact, I actually want to have a little fun myself while I’m living and working.
What good does it do to work constantly then drop dead from a stroke or develop a terminal condition (both of which have happened to real people I know) so that you spend your last years dying instead of enjoying the wealth you attained? What good does it do to always be busy building your nest egg if there’s no nest to return to when you reach that magic finish line?
Oh, and by the way, where is the finish line? Is it at a particular amount of money in your portfolio? Is it at a certain number of rental properties? Where and how do you stop if your mission statement is never stop?
How much is enough?
One of my friends retired relatively early (in her forties) after having followed the never stop mantra for twenty five years and for awhile I wondered if maybe I made the wrong decision about not working all the time no matter what. My friend was free to travel anywhere she wanted, had no obligations to an employer, and was in a good place financially. In short, she was living.
I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t mind having her financial security. But even as I write that I know I don’t need it. I have a safety net; I have a financial plan; I’m doing well. Even without working six days (and usually part of a seventh) a week or foregoing having a family. And I’m beginning to realize I’m quite happy.
It’s okay to be happy where you are
Why? Because I have had fun. I’ve had dogs I can play with and a kid I got to take to Busch Gardens and Disney World. My life has been filled with ski trips, scuba trips, travelling across the country, and even overseas. I’ve been able to run nearly every day, to journal and meditate often, and to just be at home regularly.
Which, by the way, means I get to enjoy my house and everyone in it. How many people have these massive custom built mansions and never have time to just be home because they’re working all the time no matter what? Isn’t it kind of stupid to live that way?
You Decide What Works for You
No one will answer that question the same way as me and that’s okay. The truth is that it’s alright to not change the world, as it is defined these days (i.e., amassing wealth). Or to not change the world by any other definition, either.
There is nothing wrong with living a conscientious life and enjoying it. In fact, many indigenous peoples live by the philosophy of not changing the world at all; they live in ways that leave no traces, that allow the earth to remain undisturbed and respected.
So, yes, be good to others; pull your own weight; give more than you get. Then relax a little. You might not bequeath a wing to the local hospital or have a street named after you or write the great American novel. But you can still be really happy. And happy people inspire and engage others positively even without dedicating “110%” of their time or effort. Surely that’s at least as good as having a building named after you.